Unsettled

I dream a lot. And I remember them often, whether good, bad, intuitive or just plain weird. When I’m stressed I get these crazy dreams where I’m gnashing my teeth together uncontrollably and soon they start to fall out and my gums turn to mush, but I’m still gnashing, and grinding, and panicking that I can’t stop. I usually wake up to R. Darling telling me that I’ve been grinding my teeth in my sleep.

But this morning I had a dream dripping with a recurring and fearful theme, one much worse than losing my teeth.  This insidious mind cinema played itself out through my drifting mind with unmerciful glee.  I couldn’t have stopped it if I tried.  And when I woke, loneliness engulfed me.  This dream, it grabbed me by the throat and poisoned me with its sadness, its fear, its agony.  I know it wasn’t real and I know it’s ridiculous to let it get to me but I just can’t seem to shake it today.  I feel completely unsettled.

So there’s been knitting, and ::gasp:: even an FO, but I’m waiting for the dream wraith to loosen its iron grasp so I can summon the proper amount of enthusiasm to do my knits justice.  Until then, I’m leaving you with a couple Seattle photos from yesterday’s trip.  We took my Dad down to the VA hospital for a procedure and while he was being worked on, we went down to the waterfront, enjoyed the sunshine and went for a stroll.  Then lunch at Anthony’s Grill on Pier 66, a little knitting in the waiting room and back home to fall exhausted into bed.  I know.  Life’s rough ;)

 

Revolving ampersand at a Seattle waterfront park - May 19, 2008

Revolving ampersand sculpture at a Seattle waterfront park

 

Seattle city skyline from Pier 66 - May 19, 2008

The Seattle city skyline from Pier 66

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Unsettled

  1. Dude! I live a short walk away from the VA. I can’t believe you were in my city – let alone my hood and I didn’t know! Hope you had a great day here.

    I have the teeth dream too. The one that really freaks me out though is the dream where I forgot to take senior English class and I find out I can’t graduate. I’ve been having that one a lot lately. Wonder what it means…

  2. Ughh… I have the teeth dream, but in mine my teeth always rot or turn green and fall out–then I spend the rest of my dream trying to find ways to hide my mouth. I wake up and check my teeth, brush like a madwoman for the rest of the week, and feel paranoid about the state of my smile for a long while after that. I’m surprised other people have the teeth dream!

  3. I hope the trip to the VA went well or at least things are getting better.

    Dreams: I don’t really dream. When I do they come true so I prefer to stay dreamless.

  4. I always remember my dreams. It’s so weird .. they always feel like memories more than dreams, and I can recall them weeks after I have them sometimes. When I get stressed, I always have dreams that I leave John for a certain guy from my past. Very disturbing when I wake up, although the ‘dream sex’ is always good. LOL

  5. I have been having a lot of dreams like that lately (unsettling ones). Must be the weather or something. Oh, I’m so jealous about the Seattle day trip! I’ll have to visit there sometime. It looks so fun!

  6. Great pics and I feel you on the dream… I dream nighly and always remember them and had an unsettling one last night as well. It was vivid and scary and a “new” dream (not recurring), but was very familiar at the same time. I didn’t like it. Hopefully we’ll be dreaming better things!

  7. Oooh I hate those kind of dreams. They stick with you all day! Hopefully its left you by now and you’re able to move on and knit knit knit! I have the teeth dream also but in mine they fall out and I try to tie them back on to my gums with old dirty rags. So weird! And gross!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s