Time Keeps On Slipping Into The Future

Being without a traditional job any longer is sometimes kind of surreal for me.  Deeply ingrained, after years of getting up early and making my way to work, is that feeling of needing to go to bed on time.  No staying up late on a school night!  You would think that freedom from that routine would make time stand still; no schedule but the rhythm of life with my son.  Instead I find that I blink and 2 weeks have passed.  Where does the time go?  Lately I’ve been feeling really anxious about the things that I don’t get around to doing during the day. Little chores, correspondence, always having to apologize for not getting something done.  It’s keeping me awake at night and it’s insidiously robbing me of my sleep.  To combat this I’ve gone back to my mainstay: listmaking.  I know that there is no possible way I can ever have a clean slate, things will always accumulate faster than I can complete them, but having them on paper rather than creeping around in my mind really helps put a lid on my anxiety.  I’ve promised myself that I’ll complete one thing off the list each day, no matter how big or small, and hopefully this will make me feel better about the time that seems to be slipping through my fingers.
 

Let's Eat!!


 
We did have a bit of an interesting event this week though, to break up our little homey routine.  Viruses, viruses everywhere (and maybe a little Bacteria too)!  Now don’t get me wrong.  I loves me some pink.  But not when that pink precedes eye, as in pinkeye.  Ugh.  Little Mister woke up Wednesday morning with his poor little eye all crusted shut :(  I wiped both eyes clean, but after an hour they still looked a little swollen and his right eye was tearing like crazy.  I got us an appointment with the pediatrician and had a momentary surge of maternal pride when the doctor told us that Knittymunchkin was the happiest baby she had ever seen :)  She told us he probably has pinkeye and wrote us a prescription for some drops.  No idea where he might have gotten it. We don’t take him many places and he’s not around other children at all.  I’ve never had it in my entire life!  Anyway, Little Mister is so sweet.  Other than being more tired than usual and wanting more cuddles, you would never know that he wasn’t feeling well.  What a trooper!  We started the drops Wednesday night and by the next morning he already looked better and was back to his busy little determined self.  So back off Señor Pinkeye!  There’s no room for your kind of pink around here.
 
Though the time since I last posted has blurred together for the most part, it’s been a happy, and often sleepless time, mixed liberally with countless joyous moments.  Knittymunchkin is truly a blessing in my life and I am so grateful that I finally figured out how I felt about having a child and being a mom.  At the risk of sounding trite, there really is no greater experience left that I could ask for.  This is it.

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5 thoughts on “Time Keeps On Slipping Into The Future

  1. Lists are a great invention! I use them all the time including during my vacations. It does to me exactly what you wrote: take things off my mind! I see you have one Jaywalker complete! I look forward to seeing them! May you, your husband and little Knittymunchkin have a great end of summer!

  2. I will repeat earlier advice….stop beating yourself up. You are in a learning curve and old habits are hard to break to form new ones. We will be hear waiting to hear all about the stuff life throws at you and ready to enjoy the photos of the little man as he gets so big!

  3. Armed with a list you can tackle anything. I recently had a stint at home, prolonged sick leave and found that I was no more productive while at home than I’d been at work. It was quite a revelation to reallise that time slips on by regardless. Enjoy the moments, that’s what they are for.

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