The past few days haven’t been the best. I guess I have a lot to learn about true grief. Maybe I thought I could just cry my tears, wipe my eyes after a time, and then pack the sadness away in a box stored next to last year’s Christmas decorations. But grieving feels more like a process rather than a singular event; something that ebbs and floods, turning me over and over in the tide until the rough edges are smooth, only to dash me against the rocks and split me open to start the process all over again. Funny thing, sorrow. Whenever you are least expecting it, even when the sun is shining and life seems good, despair and melancholy will creep back in to twist your smile and dull your shine.
I think the award came from here originally, and is described with these words from one of the originators: “….this is a brand new award, and I have the pleasure and honor of spreading the seed, watching it grow. I hope it finds its way to those who are like Renee: the acorn, a small package becoming a tall and sturdy oak giving more acorns, becoming tall and sturdy oaks, giving acorns…..”
Thank you so very much Amy, for this wonderful award! I certainly don’t feel as strong as an oak these days, nor as full of potential as its little seed, but you touched me nonetheless and I am forever grateful for that. I know that it’s my job to now pass it on to some deserving people but honestly, I’m going to chicken out and not name anyone specific (except for giving it right back to Amy!). That sounds like a cop out, but I see it this way: each of you who comes here to read, or comment, or even just glance at the pretty pictures, are all in some way like both the acorn and the oak to me, and thus each of you deserve this award in one way or another. From some of you, I’ve received the seeds of true friendship which have grown strong over time and will hopefully remain true through many storms and winters ahead. From others, I have received the seeds of inspiration which will encourage the branching out of new endeavors and the planting of new seeds in faraway places. And some of you, like the oak, have been strong and wise, protective and sentinel, watching over the sleeping acorn that is my heart until the warmth and light can penetrate it once again. Each piece is important and without it, without you, things just wouldn’t be the same.
So consider yourself awarded! And pass it on if you feel so inspired. Thank you so much again Amy, you really did make my day :)