Hard to believe that Little Mister has been with us for close to 2 weeks now. He gets a bit stronger every day and I’m constantly amazed by what a little personality he has already developed. I never would have guessed how deeply I could fall in love with someone else (other than R. Darling) in such a short period of time. Oh sure, people told me that would happen, but I found it hard to believe the quality and strength of that bond could emerge so quickly. I could lose hours just staring at his sleeping face and it kills me to have to leave him in the nursery each night to go home. He already knows my voice and his eyes search my face when I hold him. I watch each expression ravenously, soaking in his sweetness and laughing at his emerging animation. I used to say that all newborns are ugly and that it would take them a few weeks to finally get cute, but I figured that every parent still thinks theirs is the cutest of all no matter what other people think. And boy was I right! These pics just don’t do him justice. Yes, I’m a proud mama!
All this makes up for what is most definitely going to be a long haul. I have been given a “camping out” room which is basically a closet I can pass out in, between visits to the nursery to try to tempt Knittymunckin into breastfeeding, and pumping like all get out to supply him with what he needs to get big and strong. I spend at least 14 hours a day there, only going home after his 8 PM feeding. And once back at home I continue the cycle of pumping every 3 hours throughout the night. I’m lucky if I get 2.5 hours of sleep at a time and it’s usually much much less. It’s rough, but I do it for our little guy and I’m trying my best to hang in there. We probably have at least 2 more weeks of this before we can bring him home and by the end I will be in my “camping room” 24-7 since he should (hopefully) be able to breastfeed for all his meals.
Until then, I wake up in the nighttime darkness to go to the milking parlor. That’s what I’m calling our spare bathroom because that’s where spend my nights hooked up to the pump. It’s important to have a sense of humor about these things I think, and the similarities to Old Bessie hooked up to the milking machine are just undeniable. If I don’t laugh about something daily, it’s too easy to cry instead. My husband, hearing me refer to the milking parlor, made me a couple signs for the door as a surprise one day. I laughed so hard I forgot how tired I was. Isn’t he the best? Not only that, but Tuesday when he was home doing chores while I was at the hospital with Knittymunchkin, he completely cleaned and rearranged our bedroom the way that I’ve been imagining it for the past year or two. What an amazing surprise to come home to that! Do my boys know how to take care of me or what?
Hope all of you have some wonderful Valentine’s Day plans today! Me, I have a date with two boys in the nursery ;)